the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
