When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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