I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
