She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
