Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
