had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
