i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
