If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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