Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize