What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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