If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
