My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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