this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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