Screwed.edu
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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