I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
