mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
