I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
me + whiskey = a bad person
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
