Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize