i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I deserve this hangover.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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