someone get that fucking seahorse.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
