He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
