I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
