NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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