you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
