I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
