I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
