I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
