if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
