i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
