wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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