What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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