Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
