I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
