Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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