you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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