9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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