You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
