There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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