is your mom at the bar?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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