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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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