so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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