This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
