LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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