I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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