No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dicks are not precious.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
