This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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