I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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