Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
