Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This house was built for laser tag.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
