You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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