how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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