Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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