I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
