I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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