So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize