And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
