note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
