If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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