Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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