Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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