The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
